25th Feb 2018, 8:33 PM


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Average Rating: 1.25 (4 votes)
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BeeMKay 26th Feb 2018, 12:16 AM edit delete reply
Punctuation and spelling are supposed to be your friend.
Don't leave out the ' in your words. And inserting punctuation between sentences helps a lot in making this readable, if you are bent on goung the all small letter road.

As for the plot... Is that guy talking to himself? I get that he is dizzy from the rollercoaster, but that would set him in a theme or amusement park. Instead he is asking for the kitchen? What is the purpose of that last sentence? If the first two are meant to built up the joke, then the pun line (kitchen) kind of falls flat on its face. Why is it supposed to be funny or interesting?
I assume that there is some part of the joke that you did not communicate to the reader. Please keep in mind that we can't read or know this. Everyone's experiences are different, so it is neccessary to communicate things properly. For example, if I had a line in my comic about "Superglue is dangerous!" And the characters laughing themselves silly, the reader would ask themselves, what the joke is. They can't know the reference to a funny incident where another characters accidently glued his fingers to his tongue with superglue, and the plight to get him unstuck. But it is essential that the reader knows that detail.
So, the question is, in this page, and most of your other pages for the matter, which details did you leave out that are neccessary to understand the pun line, or joke, or whatever you are trying to communicate?
JackABee 26th Feb 2018, 5:44 PM edit delete reply
I do agree with BeeMKay, the humor is a bit odd, with the payoff and structure being poor.

Also, the reuse of the assets is a bit jarring. You should start making new characters, mostly because its the same drawing over and over. At least try making more backgrounds (because the last few comics had the same backdrops)

Keep up the work!